For those of you who have  a copy of issue #218 (if not, why not? It's out TODAY people!) you should have read about Lamb Of God frontman, Randy Blythe's very own Bear Gylls experience in the desert. He ate a goddamned snake and everything!

Well, it's all very well being able to drink your own piss and snack on lizard shit in the searing heat of Death Valley but what about if you find yourself stranded in a vast, hostile, snow covered region where the temperatures fall well below "bollock-shrivelling" and the only way you'll be eating meat is to pick a fight with a polar bear and win?

Fear not folks, Darkthrone's Nocturnal Culto thought it mandatory to pass on his own camping knowledge to you in case you have your very own wintry expeditions.

1. "When it's possible, bring with you a small tent for housing, if that's not possible use some material for making a waterproof "roof". Even though you're a "mean" and "evil" motherfucker, remember it's not so evil to be soaking wet and cold when you're in the wilderness. It's always great to have a good night sleep. If you're into drugs, you may think sleeping is for just some regular partypooper, and therefore don't bother with this first tip for survival. It's ok to rest under the northern skies, but only in the warm seasons."

2. "Forget everything about junk food alright? It does not add any energy to your surviving. Bring some basic food with you that you can combine with things you catch in nature. Most natural thing for me is a fishing rod. I have named my rod, Stewart."

3. "Do not attempt to save money if you're planning long voyages into the wild. Always strive to get hold of the best equipment possible. It's not "posh" to have quality gear with you. It all depends on where you go, and for how long you plan to be gone."

4. "Some alcohol is always nice to bring with you. But if the plan is to embark on a hardcore trip, don't bother with the beer, that should really explain itself. 96% alcohol is the way to go. If human sacrifice is the goal with the trip, it might be even more important to take alcohol with you. It will help you get going, especially if you're new to human sacrifice. But, I would not recommend this type of sacrifice in general."

5. "Inform someone you know where you planning to go. Don't confuse this with your pride, you're still a grown up, adult person. Because if you spit at all the above rules, you'll get in trouble and no one will find your sorry arse (then again, that might be your plan). Be moderate with typical heavy metal outfits and spikes. You might feel like Immortal with the spikes on - believe me - the wild animals such as wolverines, bears and wolves will laugh at your spikes, but maybe not your big knife."

...And there you have it guys. Happy camping!